Thursday 11/16/2000
Bm calls the kids' line 7:40pm, my daughter tells her he's doing
homework. Bm snarls, "Has he eaten dinner yet?!?" (ss has
sometimes eaten late cuz he didn't finish the first part of homework yet,
and complained to bm. Her objections don't change when we feel the
need to impose the boundary).
My daughter replies yes, bm hangs up.
The girls and I talk that anymore than 2 questions the kids are to hand
the phone over to me.
8:15pm bm calls dh's cell phone complaining that no one's answering on
the kids' line. He asked her why she didn't call our home
phone. She didn't really answer. Dh says they might be
ignoring the beep, he'll tell them, she can call back in five minutes.
They weren't ignoring
the beep - they were on and off the phone between phone calls and never
heard a beep. We have the girls stay off the phone, and tell ss to
answer the phone. Bm calls again and talks to ss.
We aren't willing to do that again.
The girls and I talk about beep etiquette - respond to the beep, and if
you're ready to give up the other phone conversation, tell her just a
moment, make sure ss is done with homework, and you can give him the
phone.
If you aren't ready to give up the other conversation, tell
her you're on the other line and you'll tell ss she called. If she insists
on talking to ss, repeat again the same statement. A third time,
hang up.
Ss is allowed to answer the phone when he's not doing homework, but
most of the time, he chooses not to.
Dh won't answer cell phone when he's home, can't identify the #, and bm
might be calling.
If she calls our home line, and says no one answered the kids' phone, we'll suggest she wait and call the kids' line
again cuz they don't ignore the beep. Or if bm says the girls
answered, we'll ask what
they said, tell bm "that's fine, they'll tell him," be willing
to repeat it a 2nd time, and then hang up if necessary.
I'm going to tell the girls and remind dh that we're going to only say
we'll tell ss she called and that she wants to hear from him. We won't be telling her we can't promise
he'll call.
Concerned Stepmom
"She" can be one too!
When you look at the deadbeat sites, ask yourself if you're
behaving like a deadbeat, and remember that men are victims of "her"
deadbeat mentality also.
