ACOA Step 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 ACOA Step 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
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books, music and videos recommended by Don't Fall Until You See the Whites
of Their Lies.
Step 12
Having achieved a Spiritual Awakening, characterized by a balance and harmony with ourselves, those around us, and our Higher Power, we became willing to share our experience and hope with others like us, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
This step, like many of the preceding ones, can be broken down into three distinct sections, each shedding light on a different aspect of the steps as a whole. The first section speaks of a spiritual awakening, the second urges us to carry the message to others and the third suggests that we practice the principles learned in these steps in all aspects of our daily lives. In order to fully appreciate the twelfth step, we have had to look at each section separately and in combination.
There are probably as many different definitions or explanations of a spiritual awakening as there are people who have had them. They are as personal and individual as each person's relationship to her/his higher power. Indeed the definition of spiritual - not tangible or material - implies that it is something that cannot be measured, nor can it be hurried. For some of us the process happened quickly, but for most of us the awakening of our spirits has been a gradual progressive experience.
But for those of us who have had a spiritual awakening there is little doubt that this was a necessary thing. New members to SAA often have trouble with the concept of spirituality and question whether a twelve step program can help people who do not accept the tenets of formalized religion or attend church. Yet the dictionary defines the spirit as a "vital principle or animating force" within us and it has seemed that this force is exactly what was robbed from us when we were abused by a family member. We have made comments like" I feel dead inside" or I have become afraid and shut myself off from others" or "I've tried all my life to please others and now I don't know who I am." We have tried many artificial means to regain this animating force: drugs and alcohol, sex, food, or attaching ourselves to more "animated" people who often end up hurting us. These things gave us temporary highs but left us feeling alone and empty again. It was only after we sought a power greater than ourselves and learned to find serenity within, that we were able to reawaken our spirits and tap into our own strength.
The second section of the twelfth step encourages us to carry the message. It is a challenge to let others know that they are not alone and that there is hope. We have carried the message in many different ways, each person responding to her/his own abilities to share. For some of us that has meant welcoming a new member to SAA warmly and taking time after the meeting to spend with her or him. It has sometimes meant giving out a telephone number to call in a crisis. Other members have gone out to speak to community, professional or student groups about their own incest experience, ever mindful that SAA is a program of attraction, not promotion. Some members have made contacts with local therapists and clergy to server as contact persons in the even that one of these professionals would want to refer one of these clients to SAA. As we reach out to other possible victims with the written word, members are needed to write, edit, and help publish brochures and pamphlets. The twelfth step asks us to be on the lookout for opportunities to carry the message to other women and men who may be suffering.
The third message of this step is to "practice the principles in all our affairs." This is a good time to review some of these principles: that we are powerless over others, that control doesn't work and gets us into manipulative self destructive behavior, that belief in a power greater than ourselves keeps us from playing God and reminds us of our own humanness and that it is important to take a personal inventory and be willing to make amends to others as well as to ourselves. To practice these principles in all our affairs means just that it is as important to work the steps outside the group as it is inside. We do not take responsibility for ourselves in one arena and put the blame on others in another. We do not make amends to only those people we like, but those we dislike as well. We do not turn to a higher power only in times of pain but in times of joy also.
ACOA Step 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
"Religion is for those who are afraid of going to hell. Spirituality is for those who have already been there."
"Real spirituality is always dangerous to our cherished illusions."
In association with
books, music and videos recommended by Don't Fall Until You See the Whites
of Their Lies.