ACOA Step 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

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Step Two

We admitted to the truth of our origin, and came to trust that a Power greater than ourselves would nurture, lvoe, and restore us to sanity.

The Second Step brought a reassurance that we would not have to battle the problem of incest alone. This Step was personal and private in its respect for the various images we chose of a higher power, and public and communal in its emphasis on reaching out to others. Basically, this Step addressed three issues: the process of recovery, belief in a power greater than ourselves, and the question of our sanity.

We found great flexibility and potential for growth in the phrase, "Came to believe". These first three words of the Second Step reminded us that recovery is a process, that there are no instant answers or solutions to the problems we recognized in Step One. Belief did not always come instantly or easily. For many of us who had trouble with the very concept of a higher power, the acceptance of something spiritual and more powerful than ourselves was (and is) a constant struggle. The Second Step allowed for gradual acceptance and belief as futile. It was a Step that grew out of desperation, an acceptance that was less an intellectual process than an experiential one. We knew it when it happened; we felt it in our hearts more than we could ever say it in words.

Sexual Abuse Anonymous is a spiritual program in that it recognizes something which exists within ourselves and in other people that is good, loving, and powerful. Do we have the courage to seek that spirit not only in other people, but in ourselves as well? Many of us saw our highter power as the god that we had come to know through religious instruction, or had encountered more personally through prayer or meditation. Some of us rejected the god and/or religious training of our childhood due to feelings of resentment and abandonment. We who felt that God abandoned us often discovered other higher powers, perhaps relationships with people in SAA, or Mother Nature and the earth herself, or the expanding unending universe. Each of us who discovered a spirituality, whether in or out of an institutional church, experienced a sense of relief at knowing that there were powers greater than ourselves. We then became aware that we did not have the power to control our abuser's behavior. What a weight off our shoulders to know we were not responsible for our abuse.

Whatever our choice of a higher power, it was essential for us to recognize that the path to recovery was not travelled alone. Acceptance of the Second Step came with the realization that when we trust in others and allow them to reflect our positive selves and confront our negative selves, we become more fully human. However, this trust did not come easily to us as victims of sexual abuse. A person we loved and trusted had betrayed and misused us, and our resulting inability to trust others had left many of us feeling bitter and onley at times.

For some of us, the last part of the Second Step was the most difficult to comprehend. Why did we need to be restored to sanity when we did not see ourselves as insane? Yet how many times had we thought of ourselves as nothing, as undeserving of love and respect? How many times had we thought of ending our lives? To believe that we are worthless was insane, for it was a refusal to accept our unique place in the universe. Some of our insane behavior included overeating, abuse of alcohol and other drugs, withdrawing from others, discounting ourselves and using sex as a means to obtaining love. We stayed insane by continuing to give power to our victimizers. Insane behavior might have been necessary to help us to survive the sexual abuse, but now, as adults, that behavior was no longer necessary for survival and was, in fact, destructive to a healthy adult life.

In Step Two we asked our higher power to help us on the road to recovery. It required our active participation in that recovery. We could  only change ourselves, not those around us. Restoration of sanity began with our efforts to stop self-abusive behavior in whatever form it took in our lives.

ACOA Step 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

In association with books, music and videos recommended by Don't Fall Until You See the Whites of Their Lies.

ACOA Redondo Beach incest survivor MBW Family known for genealogy, Harry Potter Easter Party, wedding pranks, divorce pranks, redhead jokes,  the Oh No A Bear Picture, Colorado resident Marvin the Martian, Spirituality Stories, Casper, Amaryzingrace's Tweety, Angela's Taz, Brittny's and Drew's Angelica and Tommy from Rugrats Playground.  The guys won't want to miss my co-worker and model Marina Blackwell's photo gallery.