ACOA Partners of Survivors 90-Minute Meeting Format

Hello, my name is __________. Welcome to the ACOA Partners of Survivors meeting. We meet to share the experience we have as significant others of incest survivors -- the way it affected us in the past and the way it affects us now. By practicing the 12-Steps, focusing on the Solution, and accepting a Higher Power of our understanding, we find freedom from the denial of the effects our partner's incest has has had on our lives. We identify with the Situation and learn to live in the Solution, one day at a time. We wish at last to find our real self.

Please join me in the Serenity Prayer:

          God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I have asked __________ to read the Situation.

I have asked __________ to read the Solution.

I have asked __________ to read the 12-Steps.

If you are attending this meeting for the first time, please tell us your first name. This is not to embarrass you, but so we can get to know you better.

Welcome. Keep coming back. This program is not easy, but if you can handle six meetings in a row, you will start to come out of denial. This will give you freedom from the past. Both you and your life will change. You may ask for phone numbers, you do not have to give out your phone number. We do not have a phone list. By attending six meetings in a row at the beginning and regularly thereafter we come to know and act as our real self. We do this by identifying with our common Situation and Solution. We choose to become our own loving parent. We come out of denial and share the pain of being a Partner of a Survivor. We experience love and acceptance from members of our ACOA family group. We grow to awareness that feelings of the past and present form a pattern. We learn that pattern can change. So please keep coming back. Listen. Learn. And most of all, share your feelings.

Please ask before touching or hugging someone.

This is a discussion meeting of feelings and experiences. What you hear at this meeting, leave at this meeting. It is not for gossip or public disclosure. Please respect the privacy of those who share here today.

The intention of this group is to provide a safe place for sharing. We understand that many of us have anger over past problems. This is not a place to act out problems on the rest of the group. Emotional expression is encouraged, but not when it is directed at others.

Respect for Newcomers -- Newcomers can be particularly vulnerable to emotional, financial, and sexual abuses. Some people attending meetings who have not grown beyond their victim/victimizer scripts may attempt to meet their needs through manipulation of newcomers. This is called "The 13th Step," which violates the safety of the meeting and is not part of our program. The love and respect we offer to Newcomers is a reflection of the love and respect we are learning to offer ourselves.

The focus of this meeting is Partners of Survivors. We understand that most perpetrators of incest are also vicitms of incest and, as partners, are welcome here. However, for the safety of the rest of the group, let us be clear that no sharing regarding perpetration is welcome.

We are learning to practice self-discipline in sharing the opportunity to speak. To allow as many people as possible a chance to share, each person is welcome to speak for four minutes without interruption or cross-talk. Would someone like to begin?

(15 min before end of meeting) It is now time for our Seventh Tradition, which states that "every ACOA family group should be self-supporting, declining outside contributions."

Does anyone have any announcements?

We have about ___ minutes left for sharing.

(5 min before end of meeting) That's all we have time for. If you still feel the need to share, please stay after the meeting and find someone to talk to.

I have asked __________ to read the Promises.

After a brief moment of silence for the Partners still out there suffering alone, we'll stand for Our Father's Prayer. Thank you for joining us. Keep coming back.

(standing in circle holding hands) This circle represents that we need never be alone again. Who's Father?...

In association with books, music and videos recommended by Don't Fall Until You See the Whites of Their Lies.

ACOA Redondo Beach incest survivor MBW Family known for genealogy, Harry Potter Easter Party, wedding pranks, divorce pranks, redhead jokes,  the Oh No A Bear Picture, Colorado resident Marvin the Martian, Spirituality Stories, Casper, Amaryzingrace's Tweety, Angela's Taz, Brittny's and Drew's Angelica and Tommy from Rugrats Playground.  The guys won't want to miss my co-worker and model Marina Blackwell's photo gallery.