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Adult Children of Alcoholic and Dysfunctional Family (ACOA) Incest Survivors

"Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional."

What it means to me is that pain is part of life. I have NEVER met anyone whose life has been pain free. The suffering part to me is how long I choose to stay stuck in my own junk....basically where do I put my focus in life ? I could suffer through life and really be miserable. Sometimes feeling my feelings seems miserable, but if I feel them, I can move on. A big part of "suffering" in my life has been resentments which I have held on to for YEARS. This has only hurt me, not the person I resented. Many times they didn't even know I was mad !!

Another way I suffer is through the messages I tell myself. For example :

" I'm so tired...I will NEVER get caught up. "

" I'm not doing enough."

" My problem isn't important...other people have it worse."

" It's not ok for me to set this boundary. Someone might get mad at me."

Barb